“When you feel like quitting, think about why you started”
Very often, I speak to prospective clients that say, “I know what to do, I just need help with motivation”. This could be true to a certain extent and there is no doubt that you need motivation to begin. To decide, “Enough is enough” and start exercising or eating in a way that will produce results to improve your health.
That’s great, but what are you going to do when you’re not motivated?
Motivation tends to be high for exercise when the other areas of your life are going well. When your work and family life are running smoothly, motivation is much easier. When the cogs of life are turning nicely, it’s easy to get out of bed at 5am and go to the gym before work.
When life is challenging, it’s not so easy. If your sleep is devastated because your son or daughter was sick in the night, your motivation will likely be very low in the morning. You get a roasting from your boss and it wasn’t your fault. This could motivate you more to get to the gym or it could push you in the direction of the pub or sofa. There are so many ups and downs in the course of life that if you rely on the ups to motivate you, then you will surely fail when you go through the downs.
I’ve found that even the most highly motivated individuals lack motivation at some point in their life. In fact, if you were to ask many professional athletes if they feel motivated to train all the time, they would say they don’t.
So, what makes some people seem “motivated” and others not? It’s not motivation. Motivation is a finite resource. It runs out. For some, it’s much sooner than others. I believe there are a few key factors to achieving success in any endeavour. Firstly, clarity on what you want to achieve. Secondly, a bloody good reason why you want to achieve that goal and what it will mean to you if/when you achieve it. Finally, you need a plan; preferably one that works.
Clarity
Most people don’t even know what they want to achieve. “I want to lose weight” won’t really do. How much weight do you want to lose? How many pounds do you want to lose? You need some real clarity here. Give me an exact number please. If you don’t specify precisely what you want, how the hell do you think you will achieve it, and how will you know if you’ve been successful? If you go on a diet and lose 2lbs is that a success? You’ve lost weight, but I would guess for most people, that wouldn’t be classed as a successful result.
Your “Why”
Let’s say your goal is to lose two stone or nearly 30lbs. Why do you want to lose that weight? It’s not the weight that you are interested in; it’s what you obtain from having lost that weight. How do you want to look and feel? Why do you want to look and feel like that? What does that mean to you? How will your life improve? How will others engage and react to you? Why is all this important to you? Simon Sinek talks about it in his book “It starts with WHY”.
Your ‘Why’ is the reason you get out of bed everyday and work towards that goal.
Your ‘Why’ is the reason you sacrifice things in your life like television or going out drinking with friends. It’s the underlying basis of an overarching desire that pulls you towards the success you want to obtain. You can keep pushing and use motivation but when motivation wanes, an even greater force is pulling you forward. The people that see real success on a huge level have a strong sense of why. When things get tough – and they will get tough – you will want to quit. That’s normal so don’t stress over it. In fact, if you don’t want to quit, you’re not working hard enough. If it’s all plain sailing you’re not pushing the boundaries of what could be. You’re not driving hard enough. Things need to be uncomfortable. Scrap that. Things need to be bloody tough. You want to quit. You’re not sure that you’re good enough, not sure you can make it. You may run out of motivation, energy, and all-round determination to succeed; but with a huge ‘Why’ it becomes easy.
Actually, it’s never easy. It becomes easier. As though something is pulling you towards your goal like a magnet. Mix this with a little motivation to get you going in the beginning and you’re on your way. Your ‘Why’ must be SO strong that nothing will deter you from working towards that goal. Whatever the obstacle or whatever the set back, you keep working towards what you want to achieve. Nothing can get in your way. You almost feel invincible. Your goal is non-negotiable. It’s not something that you “might” work towards; there is something powerful driving you towards it. It’s inevitable that you will achieve it. You get up in the morning knowing that shit is gonna get done.
That’s the feeling you want to have when you have a goal. That’s the energy and drive you need if you want to succeed. I’m not saying you can’t achieve things without a huge ‘Why’. You can, but you can achieve far greater success, far quicker, and with much more impact, if you have that invisible force pulling you, dragging you towards where you want to be.
What is Your ‘Why?’
My ‘Why’ for everything in my life is based around my children. I have three. One daughter aged 19, called Mia, a son who is 6, Gabriel and another daughter called Gigi, aged 3.
These three are the reason I get up at 5am every day and work hard at whatever I’m doing. Kids, as I’m sure you all know, learn from what we do rather than what we say to them. They’re always watching. I work hard to be the best father to them and the best role model that I can be, so they grow up proud of their old man. My hope is that they take the best that I have and use that to propel them to even greater heights in their own life. It’s both exciting and scary to know that the things I do in my life are literally shaping theirs.
How to Find Your “Why”
A lot of people say, “I don’t know my reason why”. Here is a very simple but effective exercise you can do right now. Grab a pen and paper.
Start by clearly stating your objective or goal. Let’s say you want to lose 30lbs.
Ask “why?”. Your answer might be: “So I can fit into some of my old clothes that are several sizes smaller”. Make sure you write that down.
Ask “why?” again: “So I can be more attractive and confident”.
Why? What would being more attractive and confident give you?
Keep asking why as many times as you need to get to the real reason you want to lose weight. It may surprise you. Very often the real reason is different to the reason you openly say. Losing weight is not about the number on the scales. It’s what that number gives you. Better health, energy, confidence, better relationships, and so on.
A Plan That Works
You’re motivated and have a burning desire. You have a whopping great ‘WHY’. Is success guaranteed? Nope. What? Why not? You can have all this but even more important than that is having the skills and a well thought out plan to execute. Highly motivated, with a massive ‘WHY’, but no skills and no plan; you won’t achieve anything.
“Motivation is fine but without a plan and with no skills, all you end up with is a motivated idiot”, says Tony Robbins
Now I’m not calling you an idiot and I’m sure Tony isn’t either, but you get the point, I hope. You can be highly motivated with a great work ethic and achieve very little if you spend your time doing the wrong things. I often see people in the gym working very hard but performing ineffective exercises that just don’t produce results. This will ultimately lead to frustration and the classic, “it doesn’t work for me” or, “I can’t lose weight, whatever I try”.
A professional athlete won’t get results either, if they perform the wrong exercises, however strong their why is, and the clarity of their goals.
Hope this helps?
Thanks
Gav 🙂
PS. Whenever you are ready, here are 3 ways that I can help you lose weight, feel great & take control of your health & life.
1. Download my Cheat sheet – The top 5 weight loss hacks for men that want to build muscle, lose body fat & optimise their hormones as they get older.
2. Book a FREE 15min Body Diagnostics Call with me – pure value, no strings, just answers about your health & fitness.
3. Get my book, “The GHG Method” and discover the exact blueprint I use in helping my clients lose up to 30lbs in 12 weeks (some lose much more)
